


Be Careful What You Wish For

by goodoldfashioned



Category: RedLetterMedia RPF
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Horror, Cock Worship, Human/Monster Romance, M/M, Magic, Magical Accidents, Monsters, Size Difference, Size Kink, Tails, Tongues, Transformation, Wet Pinecone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:35:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26904460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodoldfashioned/pseuds/goodoldfashioned
Summary: Satisfy your unholy cravings with this one of a kind haunted music box. What sinister energies await you within? Bid now to find out!
Relationships: Mike/Jay
Comments: 18
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing another version of this many months ago for Vicky's birthday, so this final product is dedicated to her!! Hope ya liiiike it <3
> 
> Probably doesn't need saying considering the premise but: this is about the Half in the Baaaaaag characters and their world only.
> 
> *

Normally Jay was the one who wanted to rush the Halloween season, but mid-August was early even for him, and no amount of enthusiasm for seasonal spookiness could make him agree to film Mike’s unboxing of a supposed haunted artifact that he’d paid two hundred and fifty dollars for on Ebay. 

“But Jaaaay,” Mike said, whining almost directly into Jay’s ear while they stood behind the counter at the repair shop. Jay was bent over a VCR, attempting to work. Mike was looming obnoxiously into his space. “I need someone to operate the camera!” 

Story of my life, Jay almost said. He stood up straight to glare at Mike. Meeting Mike’s gaze unfortunately required looking upward, which diminished the effect. 

“I can’t encourage this idiocy,” Jay said. 

He’d always scoffed at Mike’s supposed curiosity about the paranormal. Jay was not only disinterested but hostile toward the subject. When he was a kid, a psychic at a state fair had read his palm and claimed he was a rare male descendant from a powerful line of succubi. He’d researched the term and had been repulsed by the idea, and continued to feel itchy and uncomfortable with the concept into adulthood. Of course it was bullshit, but men had always responded to him with a weird kind of hungry interest that he didn’t like to think about too much, even back when he looked like shit. Meanwhile, he remained a complete failure with women despite his improved appearance. Mike seemed to be the only guy who was immune to wanting him, which was part of the reason they were such good friends, despite Mike’s moronic pursuit of supernatural artifacts and haunted houses.

“Fine,” Mike said, falling heavily into his chair. “Be like that. But if a genie pops out of this music box and grants me three wishes, I’m keeping them all for myself.”

“You would do that whether I was there or not.”

Mike seemed to consider arguing otherwise, then just grinned.

“You know me too well,” he said. 

“I want to believe you’re only doing any of this to annoy me,” Jay said. “But that’s probably giving you too much credit.” 

“Annoying you is only a bonus. You seriously won’t come? I’ll let you drink my beer.” 

“I don’t need any more beer.” Jay frowned down at his gut, which had returned to haunt him like the ghost of his dumpy twenties. He was working on it. “Have fun with your music box,” he said, beginning to put away his tools. “I’m done for the day, this is gonna take another two hours.” 

“As your boss, I could technically order you to stay until that job is finished,” Mike said. 

“Try it,” Jay said, still packing up. He didn’t really consider Mike his boss. He barely considered what they did together all day to be work, most of the time. 

Jay put the half-finished repair job away while Mike pouted in silence. He seemed legitimately put out, which was almost amusing, but Jay was too alarmed by how seriously Mike was taking this whole mystical music box endeavor to find any of this very funny. The amount of money Mike had paid for the thing was distressing enough, and now he seemed to think it was actually going to unleash some kind of spiritual essence that he was going to have to grapple with alone, because Jay was growing tired of humoring him during his leisure time as well as at work. 

“You should join an occult enthusiasts group,” Jay said, backing toward the shop’s front door. 

“Don’t tell me to make new friends,” Mike said. “I refuse.” 

“Okay. Well. I’m going to the gym.” 

“Ugh. Why?”

Jay ignored the question. “Call me if a demon turns up in your fridge and says ‘Zul’ or something.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun on the treadmill, you wimp.”

“How am I a-- You know what. Never mind. Bye!”

“Later, asshole.”

Jay was annoyed throughout his workout, and not just because running wasn’t as easy as it had been when he took it up seven years ago. He was thinking about Mike and that music box, and in general about how much space Mike’s stupid schemes and comments took up in his brain. They had been ‘together’ in some respect for twenty years. At least half the people they knew, including most of their immediate family members, thought they were secretly a couple. For a while Jay had convinced himself that his problems with women were partially Mike’s fault, because of the way Mike hovered over every aspect of Jay’s life and either seduced any available women himself or gave them the impression that Jay belonged to him. Eventually Jay came to grips with the fact that he was overcomplicating the whole getting with girls thing because he didn’t really want to do it. Not having girlfriends made everyone all the more certain that he was Mike’s personal piece of ass, which really pissed him off, but only because he knew how much Mike enjoyed people believing that Jay bent over for Mike’s dick behind closed doors. He didn’t care if people thought he was gay. He probably was, but had avoided ever trying anything with men, because of the way they tended to approach him like he was an appetizing piece of meat as opposed to an interesting person they wanted to get to know. 

“No one’s good enough for you, Jay,” Mike had said once, mocking him while they were both drunk. “That’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t think that,” Jay said. “I just-- You wouldn’t understand.”

“Why, ‘cause I’m a huge slut?”

Jay had snickered and then laughed hard, not quite drunk enough to explain that a carnival worker had scarred him for life as a child by implying he had succubus powers and how this had contributed to his hesitation to try having anything that resembled good sex. He’d had bad sex, twice, and had done extensive research on Milwaukee area glory holes, but that was it. He had toys and porn and jerked off regularly. Intimacy wasn’t really his thing, anyway. Sex was an annoying bodily function like any other, he’d decided. 

Why Mike’s music box adventure had lead Jay to angst about all this in the gym sauna for a long enough stretch to make him feel light-headed when he stood, he wasn’t sure. He showered and went home, and every time he checked his phone he expected a text from Mike with an update on how the unboxing had gone. None came, and Jay was of course _not_ disappointed by this development. He was only surprised, then a little worried when it was midnight and he’d still heard nothing from Mike. 

He resisted the urge to call and ask what had happened, because Mike would just love that. They could catch up at work in the morning as usual. It was about time Mike stopped harassing Jay all throughout his nights spent pleasantly alone with his movies and his cat, anyway. 

*

In the morning, Jay arrived at the shop before Mike, which wasn’t unusual. Nor was it out of character for Mike to be half an hour late without so much as a text. But when an hour since the start of their shift had passed and Jay was nearly done fixing the VCR he’d started on yesterday, he began to worry. 

When Mike was an hour and a half late for work, Jay sent a text to check on him. 

_Hey, did you oversleep? Everything ok?_

As soon as he’d sent this he snarled down at his phone, realizing just a bit too late what was probably going on here. Mike was going to fake some kind of supernatural occurrence as a prank. He would laugh like a lunatic at this text, because it was evidence that Jay was worried about him. 

Jay put his phone down and refocused on work. He heard a text message come in, but didn’t stop what he was doing to check it, not wanting to play any further into Mike’s stupid trap. He finished the repair job, logged the hours he’d spent on it and even called up the client on the shop’s phone to schedule a pickup before checking his cell. 

Mike had replied to Jay’s text with a single word:

_no_

Jay groaned. He assumed this was still part of the trick Mike was trying to play on him, but just in case something was really wrong, he dialed Mike’s number. Mike was probably ready to laugh hysterically at the thought of Jay’s concern, but Jay would feel terrible if he was wrong about what was going on here and Mike really did need some kind of help. As much as they pretended to hate each other, they were both each other’s most important person. 

Mike didn’t answer, which made Jay’s heart start to beat fast. He typed another text asking what was wrong, but his phone started ringing before he could send it. Mike was calling.

“Hey,” Jay said, making no attempt to conceal the annoyance he was feeling. “What’s going on?”

“Um,” Mike said. His voice sounded weird. “Something has, um. Occurred.”

“Why are you talking like that?” 

Mike’s voice was deeper than usual and kind of slurry, like he was doing a bit as some kind of old man sex pervert character.

“I can’t-- Jay, just. Please. I need you.”

“You-- What?”

“Something bad happened.” 

Mike’s already weirdly pitched voice had grown trembly, almost like he might start crying. 

“Oh god,” Jay said, newly convinced that this was a joke Mike was playing on him. “Let me guess. It involves the haunted music box.” 

Mike made a pathetic, whimpery noise. 

Jay frowned. Mike wasn’t a good actor, and he sounded legitimately distressed. 

“Please just come to my place after work,” Mike said. 

“You’re not coming in today at all?”

“No. I’m sick.”

Mike hung up. 

Jay put his phone down and considered what might await him at Mike’s apartment after his shift. It was still very possible that this was an elaborate prank and Mike would do something to try to scare or otherwise annoy Jay when he got there. Jay was starting to hope that was the case. Mike had sounded so messed up, his voice shaky and almost unrecognizable. If this wasn’t just a joke, Jay would have to deal with some kind of actual Mike meltdown, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to do so. They were close in a weird way, constantly together but never discussing things like feelings or emotions. Jay didn’t really discuss those things with anyone, ever. He wasn’t sure about Mike, but couldn’t imagine who else Mike would go to for emotional support if not him. 

Though it annoyed him a little to think of Mike confiding in someone else, he didn’t want to be that person for Mike. He didn’t trust himself with other people’s feelings, and the fact that Mike had a lot of them was always something Jay had tried his best to ignore. Jay had feelings, too, but they were nobody’s business, and he’d never met anyone who seemed like they’d remotely understand the nuances if he talked about them anyway. Least of all Mike, who would open up just enough to draw people in and then clobber them with cynical disinterest when he got bored. Jay had seen it happen, mostly to women who fell in love with Mike. Plenty of them did, because he was handsome and confident and all the shit Jay worked his ass off to project but could never quite sell as convincingly as someone like Mike, who could pull it off without trying. People could sense that about him. They wanted the not-trying kind of handsome and the not-trying kind of confident a thousand times more than the effort-making kind. 

Jay was thinking about all of this on the drive over to Mike’s place after work, and he didn’t like it. If Mike was actually upset about something, the most likely explanation was that a woman had turned the tables on him and broken his heart. It had happened a few times in the past, but as far as Jay knew, Mike hadn’t dated anyone seriously for years. Mike occasionally implied that he also fucked men, but Jay had never been sure those weren’t just jokes at his expense. It was hard to tell where Mike’s serious lines were. 

Mike’s apartment was a second floor walk-up in a dumpy old building near the warehouse district where they worked. Jay lived in a similar setting, but his actual environs were cleaner and more carefully decorated, in the sense that he had anything hanging on the walls at all. He had a key to Mike’s place, but knocked when he got there, wary. 

Heavy footsteps from within startled him. Mike was moving slowly, if that was indeed Mike in there. He was a big guy, but Jay had never known his gait to shake the floor. 

Two locks turned within, and then the doorknob. The door creaked open just a fraction of an inch, revealing nothing but darkness inside. By instinct, Jay stepped backward.

“Who’s there?” Mike asked, still in that weird voice, like he had a mouth full of marbles after taking quaaludes. 

“Me,” Jay said. “What the hell are you doing? Can I come in?”

“Yes, but wait. Don’t come inside for ten seconds.” 

“Huh? Mike, if this is some stupid joke--”

“It’s not a joke!” 

Mike sounded angry, enough so that Jay’s shoulders stiffened. They’d fought before, but Mike was never the one who got mean or raised his voice. That was always Jay. Mike tended to retreat from conflict, sometimes dramatically. 

“Fine,” Jay said. “I’ll count to ten before I walk in, but-- Why?”

“You’ll see. Fuck. Okay, start counting.” 

Those heavy footsteps shook the floor again, now more rapidly as Mike retreated from the foyer. Jay’s hand was shaking when he reached out to push the door open after counting to ten. Something seemed-- Off. There was a strange smell coming from Mike’s apartment, dank and damp like the inside of a cave, and as Jay stepped inside he caught a whiff of woodsmoke, like Mike had a bonfire burning in there. 

“Hello?” Jay said, blinking in the darkness. Mike had all the lights off and the curtains pulled shut.

“Shut the door!” Mike said. He was hidden in the darkness, somewhere toward the back of the hallway that lead to his bedroom and the apartment’s single bathroom. 

“Am I being ambushed?” Jay asked, lingering near the half-open door.

“No, goddammit! Jay! Do it, hurry!”

Jay groaned but did what Mike asked him to, closing the door behind him and throwing the whole place into deeper darkness. He blinked and tried to force his eyes to adjust to the meager amount of early evening light that crept in from around the edges of Mike’s curtains, but he couldn’t really see anything. He could hear Mike’s heavy breathing from the hallway. It sounded wet and painful. 

“Mike?” Jay said softly, disliking how scared he sounded. “Where are you? What’s wrong?”

“Jay,” Mike said, and he took a step closer, the floorboards creaking under his weight. “I-- I don’t know what’s going on, but. Something happened to me.” 

“When? Are you hurt?” 

Mike only breathed harder in response, sounding like he would hyperventilate. Jay’s heart was slamming. He told himself to calm down, that Mike would probably just flip on the lights and jump out in a stupid Halloween store mask, that all of this drama was only an attempt to scare him. Mike was probably recording it on some unseen camera so he could taunt Jay with the footage for the rest of their lives. 

But Mike shared Jay’s dislike of jump scares, and Jay had a real bad feeling that something was truly fucked up in here. 

Mike took another step closer. Jay could almost make out the shape of him, but the back of the apartment was even darker than the front rooms, and his eyes seemed to be playing tricks on him, because whatever was coming toward him looked almost as tall as the ceiling. 

“What is that?” Jay asked, squinting and backing up against he door when the tall shadow thing advanced toward him. “What are you-- Carrying?”

“Nothing,” Mike said, and the new closeness of his fucked-up voice made Jay press back against the door behind him. “Look. I’m just gonna say it, so you’ll be prepared.” 

“Okay.” Jay reached for the doorknob, fingers shaking. Something about Mike seemed deranged. He was wearing some kind of costume, maybe-- The giant thing in the darkness, just out of sight, seemed to be speaking with Mike’s distorted voice. 

“I opened the music box last night,” Mike said. “Without you,” he added, bitterly. 

“Uh-huh,” Jay said. He had his hand on the doorknob. The foresty, fire-tinged smell had grown more intense as Mike moved closer. 

“And a thing came out,” Mike said.

“A thing.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what it was. Some kind of, like, mist.”

“Mike--”

“And it went down my throat and turned me into a monster.” 

“Ugh,” Jay said, almost relieved. Obviously that wasn’t true, but maybe Mike was having a psychotic break and believed that it was. “Okay, well. You’d better turn on the lights and show me what you mean.”

“I will. Don’t scream.” 

Jay snorted. His heartbeat was still wild. How was Mike making so much goddamn noise when he walked? It sounded like he weighed four hundred pounds when he crossed the room to the light switch. 

“I mean it, Jay,” Mike said. “Do not scream.”

“I won’t! God, just--”

The living room lights flicked on. 

Jay screamed.

“No!” the thing advancing toward him said, in Mike’s fucked-up voice. “Jay, it’s okay!” 

Mike, or whatever that thing was, froze in place and held up two giant hands. 

“Jesus fucking christ!” Jay screamed, trying to work the doorknob with one hand while still facing the massive creature that was also somehow Mike, because those were his eyes in its face, bigger than ever and wounded-looking in a way Jay was familiar with. Mike’s pained expression in an otherwise alien face froze Jay in place even as his panic crashed into him over and over with a clear directive to fucking _run_.

“It’s me!” Mike said, still holding his now-massive hands up. He had claws on every scaley finger, razor sharp and curved in Jay’s direction. “Jay, please don’t run away! Help me, I don’t know what to do!”

Jay went silent with shock and gaped up at Mike. The tips of the two short horns on either side of his head almost touched the ceiling, and his shoulders were as broad as the loveseat he’d easily kicked aside on his way toward Jay. He looked more like an impressive CG rendering than anything that could possibly exist and be in the same room as Jay. Oily smoke seemed to rise from his body when he moved, and tiny, shimmering scales covered him from his triangular, almost lizard-like head to his feet, which were even bigger than his hands and reminded Jay of a bat’s feet, clawing into the wooden floorboards and leaving marks. Mike’s legs, arms and torso were massive but still man-like, though also covered in scales. His teeth were sharp and terrifying, his nose was more of a rounded reptilian snout, and he was wearing only a pathetic loincloth that he seemed to have been fashioned from several ripped black t-shirts. He had a tail that rested heavily on the floor behind him, at least five feet long and lined with spikes that looked like bone. 

“I tried emailing the Ebay seller,” Mike said, his massive shoulders slumping. “He hasn’t gotten back to me.”

“Mike what the _fuck_!”

“I don’t know what the fuck! Do I look like I know? Just keep it down, okay? If the cops come-- Oh, god. They’d send the fucking military. And the FBI. I’d be, like, captured and taken to a lab--” 

“What _are_ you?” Jay asked, when he could speak again, his throat tight with terror even as his rational mind accepted that this creature who was also Mike wasn’t going to hurt him. “What is--” Jay flopped one outstretched hand in Mike’s direction. “ _That_?”

“Which part?” Mike asked, again sounding like he would cry. 

“I don’t know-- All of it!”

“How am I supposed to fucking know? This shit didn’t come with an instruction manual!”

“You look like-- Like, some kind of Lovecraftian, ah. Sea creature from space, or lizard man, or shark person, but those are your eyes--”

“Jay, you’re babbling.”

“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t process this!”

“Just don’t leave me alone like this, please!”

“I’m not! Jesus. I need to, like. Sit down.”

Jay sank to the floor, staring up at Mike the whole time, his back sliding against the door as he went. Mike’s current form was less horrifying once the initial shock wore off. He was actually sort of majestic, and far more fit than he’d been in his human body. He probably weighed two hundred pounds more from muscle alone, and looked like he could throw a car across town with one hand. Jay licked his lips and hugged his knees to his chest. 

“Are those claws retractable?” he asked, his voice coming out more meekly than he’d intended. 

Mike sighed and looked down at his huge fingers. He still had five on each hand, thumbs included. He flexed them a few times and the claws started to pull inward. Then they sliced back out with a sound that made Jay flinch.

“Sort of,” Mike said, mumbling. “Who cares? I have to change back. I can’t live like this.” 

“Does it hurt?”

“Not now. It did when I changed. And I haven’t slept since then, or eaten.” 

“Can you still drink water?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Are those-- Gills?”

Mike touched his neck. “I don’t think so.”

Jay surveyed Mike’s wide, muscled torso before letting his gaze slide downward. Mike’s thighs were like tree trunks, and there was some dark, glossy fur amid the scales, scattered over his chest and arms and upper thighs, also trailing down into that ugly loincloth. 

“Do you still--” Jay said, gesturing to it.

“Huh?” Mike said. His face was oddly expressive, his over-large features exaggerating his human reactions in a way that made his flashes of emotion look cartoonish and eerily familiar at the same time. 

“What’s going on under there?” Jay asked, muttering this bashfully while pointing at the loincloth. “You, uh. Drank water, so. Do you still have a, um. Can you piss, and so forth--”

“Yes, I still have a dick!” Mike said, angrily, as if he was insulted that Jay could even wonder. “Two, actually.”

“What!”

“The hell is this look you’re giving me?” Mike lifted his shiny upper lip, revealing more of his frightening teeth.

“What look?” Jay pressed his lips together and scrambled to his feet, still braced against the door. “I’m not-- Looking. Did you just, though-- Did you just say you have two dicks?” 

“I have bigger problems than two dicks right now, Jay!” Mike huffed and adjusted his loincloth. “But, yes.” He crossed his arms over his chest and put his shoulders back, coming to his full height. “It’s true.” 

“Whoa.” 

“That impresses you, huh? You sick fuck.”

“I don’t-- I’m not! What do you want me to say? I’m being violently confronted by an entirely new reality here. I’m doing the best I can.”

“Fine. Sorry.”

For a while they stared at each other without speaking, both of them breathing hard. Jay’s breath evened out before Mike’s did, and he began to feel oddly calm, also intensely curious. He wanted to touch Mike’s scales and those spikes on his tail. He also wanted to see what having two dicks looked like.

“Is that your stomach?” Jay asked when an unholy grumbling sound filled the room.

“I guess,” Mike said, looking down at his torso. “I mean, it’s someone’s stomach. I guess it’s mine now.” 

“You look really strong.” 

Jay swallowed and flushed when Mike gave him a disbelieving look. 

“Of course you’d prefer me like this,” Mike muttered, rubbing his hand over his chest. “I might have a tail and horns but I also have flat abs. Big fucking deal to you, apparently.” 

“They’re not flat,” Jay said, fidgeting. “They’re, like. Muscle-y. What’s the texture like? Is your skin, like. Hard?”

Mike snarled at Jay, showing his teeth. His canines were especially big, just short of overhanging his bottom lip, the points peeking out slightly from beneath his top lip.

Jay flushed again, more deeply, and the heat lingered across his skin, under his clothes. 

“Come find out,” Mike said, eyes flashing. “If you dare.”

Jay prided himself on not being afraid of much and on being far tougher than he looked. He pushed away from the door and took a step forward, cautious but transfixed. That scent of things from deep in the earth laced with some kind of fire was definitely coming from Mike, and it was stronger as Jay got closer. 

“That smoke that comes off you when you move,” Jay said, watching it curl softly upward from Mike’s shoulders before seeming to evaporate. “What is that?”

“Stop asking me questions that you know I can’t answer. I don’t know!”

“I mean-- Will it hurt me? If I touch it?”

Mike shrugged. When Jay took another step toward him, Mike moved backward.

“Let me,” Jay said, reaching for him.

“Dummy. You’re the one who just said this shit might hurt you. Better not try it.”

“Eh. I don’t think it will. Maybe I’ll touch your tail first. There’s not much smoke down there.”

“You would want to touch my tail, sick-o.”

Mike grinned at the helpless look Jay gave him. His eyes did a kind of sparkle-thing when he was amused or especially pleased. Jay had seen this happen when Mike was a regular human, and it was extra noticeable now that his eyes were even bigger.

“Let me,” Jay said, softly, embarrassed by how this came out sounding like he was begging. 

“Fine!” 

Mike groaned and half-turned, keeping an eye on Jay from over his massive shoulder as he offered access to his tail, which was stegosaurus-like. The bone spikes were pointy but didn’t look too sharp. Jay lowered to his knees, hands outstretched, feeling like a kid at a petting zoo who was being allowed to touch some dangerous but beautiful animal. 

His hands shook, and he exhaled with relief when he’d placed them on Mike’s tail without a shock of pain from the thin puffs of smoke that lifted up around his fingers. Mike flinched a little, the tip of his tail shifting against the floor as Jay rubbed his fingers over the rough texture of his scales, then up along one of the bone spikes. Jay heard Mike let out what sounded like a deep breath he’d been holding. 

“The scales feel so thick,” Jay said, stroking them and noting how they shimmered under his fingers. “But they’re kinda delicate, too.”

“Yeah,” Mike said. His voice sounded a little tight.

“Can you feel me, um. Touching you, even?”

“Of course I can!”

“Well, I mean-- Does it feel, uhh. Different?”

“Different from what?”

“From when a person touched your skin, when you were human.”

“Jay!” Mike flipped his tail away from Jay’s hands and turned toward him, his scary clawed hands curling into fists. “I’m still human, you little shit! Just. Temporarily, like. Trapped in a monster body.”

“Sure,” Jay said. His legs felt a little wobbly when he stood. He wanted to touch the scales on Mike’s chest, and he felt himself boggling when he noticed Mike had two tiny, blue-black nipples on his chest, approximately where human nipples would be.

“What?” Mike said. 

“Nothing, um. Shit.” Jay forced himself to look up at Mike’s face, into his sad eyes. “We’ll figure it out,” he said, using reassurance as an excuse to reach out and pat Mike’s arm. He couldn’t help but leave his hand there, running his fingers over the muscle underneath the scales. “Jesus,” he muttered, feeling the heat on his face spread downward. “What’s that smell you’re giving off?” he asked, before Mike could snap at him for fondling his giant bicep. 

“I dunno,” Mike said. He looked miserable, even while Jay touched his arm with a fascination that he hoped would bring some comfort, too. “It’s like fire. And the woods.”

“Yes!” Jay said. He could feel a delighted smile forming and forced it away. “Um. I thought the same. So I guess you still have your regular old human sense of smell. Can you see in the dark?”

Mike narrowed his eyes.

“How did you know?” he asked. 

“Just a guess.” 

“I thought you didn’t believe in any of this shit.”

“I don’t!” Jay stared down at Mike’s curled fist, wanting to touch those claws. “But it’s happening anyway, unless I’m dreaming.” 

“You’re not dreaming. Jay, what the fuck am I going to do?”

Mike was near whining now, which sounded funny in his mumbly, low-pitched monster voice. Jay sighed and made himself stop touching Mike’s scales. They were so sturdy, firm against his fingers, and almost soft at the same time, with a silky quality. The contrast was addictively pleasant to interact with. Jay had always been a little repulsed by skin to skin contact with other people, but this was different. Mike was slightly cool to the touch, and the way the smoke swirled around Jay’s fingers as if to grant him permission to get closer was mesmerizing. 

“Your pupils are all fat,” Mike said when Jay looked up into his face again. “What’s that about?”

“I dunno.” Jay licked his lips. He reached for Mike’s arm again without meaning to, then tucked his hands into his pockets to get them to behave. “Maybe this smoke stuff is working some kind of spell on me.”

“Jay!”

“What!”

“You don’t believe in spells! Stop it!”

“Why? My belief system clearly needs realigning. Oh my god, that’s your stomach growling again. Do you have anything to eat? You probably need to eat, like. Half a cow per meal, in this body.”

Mike didn’t answer, just sulked and followed Jay into the kitchen. His fridge was nearly empty, aside from some expired condiments, the beers he’d promised to share with Jay if he’d come over the night before, and a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese.

“Well,” Jay said, closing the fridge and turning to Mike. “Looks like we’ve got to go out hunting.”

“That’s not funny, Jay.”

“Sorry. I’ll get you some fast food. Like, lots of it. We can’t figure out how to fix this with your stomach empty. Eating will help you think.” 

Mike wrinkled his rounded snout a little. 

“Since when do you like the way my mind works?” he muttered. 

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself!” Jay said, more loudly than he’d intended to. Mike flinched backward a bit and widened his eyes. “I know you’re freaked out, but you went looking for trouble and you found it. A hunger strike isn’t going to get you anywhere. What do you want me to pick up for your dinner?”

Mike requested three cheeseburgers. Jay came back with five for Mike and one for himself, and Mike ate all five of the ones allotted for him, avoiding Jay’s fascinated stare at he tossed them into his mouth, finishing each one in a single swallow after chewing a little. 

“How about a beer?” Jay asked after they’d finished their meal, Jay sitting on the loveseat in the living room while Mike took up the entire couch. He looked hilarious, enormous and strange and sitting there like he could even pretend to be a little bit normal, his hunched posture forced and uncomfortable. Jay felt guilty for wishing they could laugh about it. He wasn’t sure the couch would ever recover from the dent Mike was making in it.

“I don’t know if I should get drunk,” Mike said. “What if booze makes me crazed with rage and I destroy the city?”

“Mhm, good point. Well, I’m having one. I need a fuckin’ drink.”

“Uhh, no fair! So do I! Bring me one, too, to hell with the consequences.”

Jay snorted and shook his head but did as Mike asked, feeling bad for him. He opened the beer bottle for Mike and watched him try to grip it properly in his hand, which made the bottle look toy-like. Mike gulped from it awkwardly, and Jay sat up a little straighter when he got a glimpse of Mike’s shiny, purplish tongue. It seemed-- Long. And thick. 

“So,” Jay said when he’d finished half his beer. They were just staring at each other, and Jay couldn’t help but wonder if Mike was thinking about the same thing he was, or the same two things, more precisely. “What do they look like.”

“They?” Mike said flatly, staring Jay down like he knew. 

“The dicks, Mike. Your monster dicks.” 

“Jay, you asshole.”

“Why am I an asshole? They’re not even yours, technically. You’re just-- Trapped with them, temporarily, like you said.”

“Uh-huh. And?”

“And! I’m curious, okay? Make fun of me if you want, but when else am I gonna get a glimpse of actual monster cock?” 

Jay flushed and gulped from his beer, ashamed of himself. This just seemed like the only place to start, somehow, with what to do about Mike’s condition. Jay hadn’t even seen the whole package yet. Maybe there was a hint about how to solve this in the vicinity of Mike’s huge monster balls. If he even had those. And if he did-- Would there be _four_?

“You’re a freak,” Mike said. “You know that, right?” 

Jay shrugged one shoulder rather than pointing out the irony of Mike making that accusation in his current form.

“So what if I am?” Jay said. “You should be celebrating. You were right about me, I’m weird. I want to see those dicks.”

“Oh my god!” 

Mike grinned, which was a big improvement, putting almost all his scary teeth on display. Jay couldn’t help smiling, too, even if Mike was laughing at him. 

“I knew it,” Mike said. “You’re a dick connoisseur.” 

“I’m a-- What! I am not!”

Jay flushed again, the smile leaving his face. He didn’t want to admit to Mike that he’d never actually been with a man. Let him think that Jay had seen lots of huge cocks before, if he wanted to believe it.

“You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to,” Jay said primly, sensing that he was being rude at best here. “Just know that if you want to, I’m interested.”

Mike guffawed and then laughed hard. His monster-toned laugh wasn’t too different from his normal one, which had startled Jay in the past, when he really got going. 

“Where has this humble request been all my life?” Mike asked. 

Jay boggled at him.

“Fine,” Mike said, standing. He towered over Jay, the smoke that rose off his dark, glittery scales seeming to thicken a little, as if he’d summoned more to the surface. “But I can’t be held responsible for how the sight of the twin cannons might affect you.”

“Wow, you already gave them a nickname?”

“Yes, and _you_ already seem kind of fucked up, Jay. Like maybe you’re inhaling too many fumes from my-- Well. Wherever this smoke is coming from.” 

“Uhh,” Jay said, clamping his hands between his knees so he wouldn’t grab anything without permission. “Fine. I take full responsibility for whatever happens when you unveil those cocks.”

Mike sniffed, then shuffled in place. Maybe he was nervous. He brought one sharply clawed hand up to the loincloth he’d tied around himself, which was kind of loose and sagging anyway. Jay could see a heavy bulge beneath it. He licked his lips and let himself stare, since he had all his cards on the table, and why bother hiding his own weirdness when Mike had literally turned into a monster of unknown origin? 

“Brace yourself,” Mike said thickly. “They’re intimidating.”

“Oh god.” Jay cackled and held his hand over his mouth, squirming in his seat and feeling outmatched already. Mike didn’t need to know that, though. “Just show me! I can handle your dicks.”

“Can you. Hmm.”

With a dramatic flourish, Mike used his razor sharp claws to snip the loincloth thing away, letting it fall to the ground. 

He wasn’t wrong that his cocks were intimidating. Jay had the instinct to jump up onto the loveseat and assume some kind of defensive posture, but he just grabbed both arms of the seat for traction and let himself stare, open-mouthed. There were indeed two of them, and they were both soft but huge, especially the one on top, which was a slightly lighter shade of dark bluish purple than Mike’s scales, with a smooth texture that looked silky. It was fat and ridged at the top, just below a thick head that was pointed at the tip, making the thing look like a fleshy trident. The dick below it was fatter and shorter, resembling a soft, wet pinecone with overlapping scales in colors that shifted from dark blue to emerald green. It pulsed a few times while Jay gaped at it, fattening further. Jay could _see_ that the texture was wonderful and wanted to touch it to confirm this, also possibly to lick it, and in the meantime the dick on top was filling out, too, like Mike was aroused by Jay’s speechless staring. 

“So, there they are,” Mike said, adjusting them carefully with one clawed hand. He cleared his throat. 

“Have you beat off yet?” Jay asked. He was embarrassed by how he’d nearly shouted that, in a choked-up voice, but he also thought if he was going to act this shameless he might as well go all in.

“Of course I haven’t beat off!” Mike said, matching the volume of Jay’s voice, though his was a rumbling roar whereas Jay’s had gotten squawky. “I’m a little preoccupied with the fact that I lost my actual body, Jay, not really in the mood to blow a load.”

“Okay.” Jay nodded to himself madly. He’d pulled is legs up onto the loveseat without realizing it, and was still holding onto its arms very tightly. “Ah. Um. Is that. Are you getting an erection right now, though?”

Mike glanced downward and made an aggrieved noise that felt like a confession that yes, he was. 

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Mike muttered, though it was obvious: the dicks were filling out, throbbing toward full hardness, pointing in Jay’s direction. The pinecone-looking one was getting wetter, too, clear liquid seeping out from beneath its scales. “You smell-- Good to me, right now, Jay.”

Jay ripped his gaze from Mike’s erections long enough to peer up at his face with shock and maybe horror, also interest. He was getting hard, too, in his jeans, and the smoke that was rising off of Mike seemed to be thickening, its dark, woody scent clogging the air in the apartment.

“Maybe you should run,” Mike said. 

“No,” Jay said. His voice was pinched, but he wasn’t scared. “Mike. We should, uh. For science.”

“We should _what_?”

“We should try them out!”

Mike looked so bereft at the suggestion that Jay wondered if he should apologize. Then Mike laughed, low in his chest, in a knowing way that made Jay nervous. He forced himself to put his feet back on the floor and let go of the arms of the loveseat. 

“What?” Jay asked, snapping at Mike as if he was the one being ridiculous. 

“Nothing,” Mike said. 

He stepped closer, menacing and mountainous. Jay gasped, quietly but probably not softly enough to conceal it from Mike, with those big, pointy ears of his. 

“What do you want to try?” Mike asked, fondling the top cock with one big finger. 

“Does that feel, like--” Jay’s mouth was dry, and he had to wet his lips before continuing. “Like, um. Like it does for us-- For humans? When you, uh. Touch it?” 

“You mean does it feel good.”

“Yuh, yeah--”

“Yes. It’s-- Kinda scary good. Like the windows might blow out if one of these things goes off.”

“Jesus,” Jay said. For some reason he wanted to slide onto the floor, onto his knees, though there was no need to lower himself. Sitting where he was, he was face level with Mike’s dicks, and he kind of never wanted to look at anything else ever again.

He loved them, already.

“This one’s crazy,” Mike said, lifting the upper dick for better access to the wet pinecone one below it. He stroked it with the heel of his big hand, and when he groaned in pleasure Jay almost did the same, barely containing the urge. “It’s, unh. It’s really, like, sensitive. I think.”

“You think,” Jay said, with soft reverence. Now his mouth was too wet.

“What do you want, Jay,” Mike asked, also softly. There was something threatening about the question. Jay remembered being told that he should run. 

He thought that was probably true, but Mike had asked what he wanted to do, not what he should.

“I want,” Jay said, almost whimpering for how much of what he wanted seemed crowded around him in the smoke-scented air and perilously within reach. “To touch it-- You-- Them.”

“Mhm, okay. But I can’t promise I won’t cover you in monster jizz if you make me feel good.”

“Oh god,” Jay said, almost sobbing the words out. He was trembling in place and fidgeting crazily, like a starving person forced to wait to eat a huge meal that had been laid out for him. “I--” He looked up into Mike’s face, could only imagine how spinny and insane his eyes must have gotten. Mike’s pupils were fat, too, but he seemed calm and in control of himself. “I want you to,” Jay said, breathlessly. 

“What if it burns you or something?” Mike asked, with real concern. 

“You-- Your come?”

“The monster jizz, yes.” 

Jay snickered. It was legitimate question, but he also felt safe. This was Mike, after all, still. 

“I’m pretty spry,” Jay said. “If your jizz has adverse effects, I’ll just jump out of the way.” 

“You’re a lunatic,” Mike said, fondly, and he reached out to touch Jay’s hair very carefully with one big hand, dragging his claws through the strands. 

“I know,” Jay said. He felt on the verge of some kind of grateful sobbing, and was so hard in his jeans that it hurt. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. We finally match. Go for it, do whatever you want to those dicks, you little perv.”

Jay blinked up at Mike, trying to make sense of what he’d said about them finally matching. He couldn’t make his sluggish, sex-crazed brain really process anything except the permission Mike had just given him, however, and he let his mouth fall open with stupid awe as he lifted a shaking hand. 

He touched the upper dick first, just with his fingertips, and moaned under his breath when he felt that it was warmer than Mike’s scales, and a little bit squishy when he pressed on it gently, but mostly so hard and getting harder, twitching against his touch. Mike moaned, too, and put one big hand on top of Jay’s head. His hand was heavy, and resting it there felt like an attempt to control Jay, who was fully on board with that, afraid he’d fuck this up somehow because he wanted it so bad that his brain was already melting. Best to let Mike keep a firm had on him. 

“Yeah, there you go,” Mike muttered when Jay wrapped as much of his hand around the top cock as he could, squeezing. The pinecone one was straining for attention beneath it, smearing clear liquid on Jay’s wrist when he bumped it. Jay had initially thought he’d figure out the more standard-looking dick on top and then deal with the wet, throbbing pinecone one, but now he remembered he had two hands. He could do both, at once. 

“Holy fuck,” he whispered, brushing his fingertips over the soft, sticky tip of the pinecone dick, where the overlapping scales culminated in a shiny green twist of dripping points. Mike shivered all over when Jay did it again.

“Ah god,” Mike said, shifting his feet apart more widely on the floor. “Fuck, yes, Jay-- Do that, nghhgh, yeah, do ‘em both, like that--” 

It was a little awkward, with the bigger cock directly overtop the pinecone one, but Jay was a fast learner. He got a rhythm going, pumping his fists along the shafts of both dicks in tandem, and moaned along with Mike, licking his lips and wanting his mouth on both cocks at the same time, too. There was no way even one of them would fit in past his teeth, though the pinecone one was pretty squishy. Maybe he could do it without nicking one of the spongy scales. The clear liquid seeping out from beneath them was surprisingly nice-feeling, though Jay normally detested even the thought of encountering another person’s bodily fluids. That only applied to humans, apparently. 

“Oh fuck,” Mike said when Jay was breathing hotly onto the pointed head of his upper cock, peeking up at Mike with lashes fluttering to ask permission. “Please, yeah-- Lick that bitch, Jay, lick it, _hnnngh_ \--”

Jay moaned at the taste and licked again, more widely. Mike’s upper cock tasted a little bit like the grape-flavored Airheads he’d loved as a kid, somehow, or maybe he was just losing his mind. He pumped the pinecone dick harder, closing his fist around it more tightly while he lapped at the top one, until his middle finger could almost touch his thumb. Mike whimpered and Jay eased his grip a little. Mike’s grip on Jay’s head had tightened, and Jay could feel the points of Mike’s claws pressing into the back of his neck, almost hard enough to break the skin. He didn’t give a fuck if they did; it felt _good_. 

He forced himself to imagine Mike accidentally crushing his skull in his hand and backed off a little, one hand resting at the enormous base of the upper cock while the other slid over the pinecone one’s slick scales. Jay stared up at Mike’s face to make sure he was still paying conscious attention to the situation at all, at least enough to realize how strong he was and what his grip might do to Jay’s head if he lost control. 

“Are you gonna come?” Jay asked, newly aware of how hard his own untouched dick was as he asked this, jammed against the fly of his jeans and leaking into his boxers.

“Unhh,” Mike said, nodding. His big eyes were heavily lidded now. “Take your shirt off.”

“What?” Jay said, laughing a little. He was almost flattered. Did Mike want to see his puffy chest? 

“Do it,” Mike said, reaching down the back of Jay’s neck to one run sharp claw just beneath the collar of his shirt, making him shiver violently. “I’ll ruin it if you don’t.”

“You-- Oh.”

Jay let got of both cocks, with regret, and tugged his shirt off. It was a favorite of his, and he imagined Mike’s monster come burning the fabric away like acid. He swallowed heavily at the thought of what it might do to his skin. 

“Maybe--” Jay said, having second thoughts about being coated in monster jizz. “Maybe we should--”

“Sit back,” Mike said, shoving at Jay’s shoulder. He put one foot up on the loveseat beside Jay’s thigh, the weight of it making the seat creak like it might break. 

Jay stayed pressed against he back of the loveseat and watched in open-mouthed wonder as Mike took hold of his dicks, almost able to hold both of them in one big hand. He was still right-handed as a monster, Jay noted, his hands gripped tight around his knees as he braced himself for whatever was about to happen. What if this was how he died, from a load of monster come that burned him alive? How embarrassing. But he chewed his lips and waited to take it, his cock throbbing against the fly of his jeans. 

“Don’t try to drink it,” Mike said, his voice strained as he stroked himself. The dark purple of the upper cock had reddened slightly, and the smoke-like stuff was coming off Mike’s shoulders in thick plumes, making him look like a storm cloud that was about to rain down brutally on the landscape below. The pinecone cock was so wet it was dripping onto the floor in wet smacks, still hard. 

“Let me help,” Jay said, reaching out with both hands. 

Mike moaned and nodded, and almost as soon as Jay got a good grip on his dicks again he was coming.

The top cock went off first, spurting a steady stream of bluish white jizz onto Jay’s chest. It was warm and maybe silkier than human come, and it didn’t hurt at all. Jay leaned forward, crazed with a kind of wild hunger he’d never experienced before, and licked at the tightly twisted scales at the end of the pinecone dick. He got a load of hot, clear, sticky-sweet come directly in the face for his trouble. 

“I said, ngh, don’t drink it--” Mike said, but his voice choked off and he gave up trying to stop Jay from gulping from him. He was shaking overtop Jay, leaning forward with his hands braced on his big thighs as he continued to unload, more and more spurting out while Jay milked him for every drop. 

Jay couldn’t help it. He was licking the come off his lips and lapping at the pulsing head of the pinecone dick, smearing his face against the bigger one on top at the same time, in fucking heaven despite needing to come so badly himself. 

“Jesus christ, man,” Mike said, still breathless. He dragged his claws through Jay’s hair again. The pinecone cock was still dribbling out a thin stream of clear, sweet-tasting come while Jay drank from it heedlessly. “You’re a muh, maniac for this.”

Jay moaned in agreement and rubbed his cheeks on both of Mike’s dicks until Mike pushed him away with a whine, finally too oversensitive to withstand his greedy attention. 

Mike stood up straight and took a deep breath. He expelled it in a long, steadying exhale as he stared down at Jay, who was flopped back against the loveseat, shirtless with his legs spread, showing Mike the tent in his jeans. 

“I can’t jack you off with these meathooks,” Mike said, looking forlorn about it when he held up his hands. “Haven’t even figured out how to control the claws yet.”

“Don’t need you to,” Jay said, hurrying to rip open his jeans himself. “Just, could you, could you, um--”

“Spit it out, Jay, we’re past the point of fucking return here.”

Jay giggled, feeling insane, and nodded. Instead of asking for what he wanted, he decided to show Mike, and he stripped off his jeans and underwear as quickly as he could. Usually he hated being looked at while naked. Even the thought made him cringe. But now he gave not a single fuck. Seeing Mike as a monster had pitched him straight into a kind of intimacy he’d never thought he could enjoy. They could be gross sex perverts together, and who gave a fuck? 

When he was fully naked, Jay turned around on the loveseat, showing Mike his back. He gripped the cushion with both hands, spread his knees on the seat and peeked back over his shoulder to give Mike a look like: get it?

Mike scoffed wetly.

“You want me to fuck you? Uhh, I think you’d die.”

“No,” Jay said, both in answer to that question and in refusal to accept that they couldn’t get one of those cocks into him, eventually, if they really put their creative minds to the task. Right now he had other ideas. “Your tongue. It looks-- Big, um. In the right way.”

“The right way.”

“The right kind of going up my ass way, yeah.”

Mike’s eyes widened. He grinned, showing his teeth, which by that point Jay found extremely hot. He wanted to feel them closing around the back of his neck. 

“Let me make sure I have this right,” Mike said. “You, Jay, want me, Mike, to stick my tongue up your ass.”

“Yeah, or just-- Lick between my legs if you don’t want to eat my ass, lick my cock, oh god, please, Mike, or-- Anywhere. Lick me all over with your big, nasty monster tongue, please?”

Mike snorted out a laugh, then seemed to realize Jay was serious and actually kind of desperate. He gave Jay a tender touch on his back, stroking very lightly with just the tips of his claws, probably leaving red streaks there despite taking such care. Jay shook with need and hid his flaming face against the back cushion on the loveseat, waiting to see if Mike would show him some real mercy.

“Turn over, dummy,” Mike said, still stroking Jay’s back. “I wanna start with your front.”

Jay scrambled to do as asked, though even in his current madness he preferred the idea of being seen from behind rather than facing his partner. He put his feet up on the cushions and spread his bent knees apart, showing Mike his bright pink, modestly sized dick and soft chest. His nipples were hard and felt tight, sort of achy. Mike looked approving as his eyes roamed Jay’s body, spread out for him. The blue-white come from his upper cock had started to dry on Jay’s skin, and the clear slick from the other one was kinda everywhere. Jay didn’t care that he was messy. All the better to get a tongue bath, in the state he was in.

“Please?” Jay said when Mike hesitated, looking confused or something, almost sad.

“Check it out,” Mike said. He stuck his tongue out. Jay groaned when it just kept coming, thick and slightly rounded, seven inches or so poking from between Mike’s lips. Mike flexed it once and demonstrated that the pointed end was actually forked, the two sides pulling apart with a slimy, satisfying click. 

“Fucccck,” Jay said, digging his fingernails into the soft skin behind his knees, where he was holding his legs open, squeezing hard. 

Mike lowered himself to his knees with a kind of grace he hadn’t seemed capable of when he was thundering around the apartment after first letting Jay inside. Now he seemed to be in his element, focused on his prey. Jay imagined himself as something about to be eaten. His dick felt like it weighed fifty pounds, tight with pressure and ready to go off, possibly for the first swipe of that giant tongue across his vulnerable, come-marked skin. 

He was panting by the time Mike leaned over him. Mike braced his hands on the arms of the loveseat and bracketed Jay within in, looming over him. No escape, Jay thought, moaning. He wanted to wipe away the drool he felt pooling at the corner of his lips, but didn’t dare move now that Mike was locked on him. 

The loveseat creaked again under Mike’s weight as he leaned in to lick Jay’s chest. Jay exhaled in a breathy gasp. Mike’s tongue was hot against his skin, but the trail of drying spit it left behind gave a cool tingle as soon as Mike’s tongue moved elsewhere. The combined sensation of hot and cold had Jay moaning steadily and shaking hard, and Mike’s body temperature gave off a similar aura of fire and ice, as if there was something burning under the protective cooling layer of his scales. 

“Is that good, Jay?” Mike asked after he’d given each of Jay’s nipples one sharp lick. “You like my tongue on your tits?”

“Mngh,” Jay said, or tried to say, nodding. He could feel the shape of Mike’s hard torso hovering just over his cock, and he wanted to hump himself against those scaly muscles so badly, but he kept still, because to rub his inferior human cock on Mike’s monster form seemed like some kind of sacrilege. It felt good enough to have Mike’s tongue moving harshly over his nipples again, now rubbing hot and wet over both at once. Jay hissed at the cold feeling that followed as Mike moved lower, licking all over Jay’s chest and teasing at his trembling belly with the narrow forks on the tip. His tongue felt like a snake he was unleashing, just barely under his control, something dangerously seductive like the rest of him. 

“Gonna come if I wrap this bad boy around your dick?” Mike asked when his face was hovering close to Jay’s erection, his hot breath almost setting Jay off already.

“Yes,” Jay said, nodding. “Yeah, yes, please--”

“Turn over, then. I’m gonna fuck you with it first.” 

Jay whined, not sure he could survive having his orgasm delayed any longer, despite how much he wanted that tongue up his ass. He hoisted himself up on shaking limbs and turned to show Mike his back again, unwilling to defy him. Mike was huge and powerful, and Jay felt so small and surrendered in comparison. He’d never thought feeling this way would make his whole body sing in approval. 

“Mhmm,” Mike said, pulling Jay’s ass cheeks apart with his massive hands to examine him. “On second thought, even my tongue might not fit.”

“Bullshit!” Jay said, his surrendered feeling eclipsed at once by his need to get fucked by Mike’s tongue. “I mean-- Try, please, just try it--” 

“Pushy little cockslut,” Mike said, fondly, and then his tongue was curling down over the base of Jay’s spine, through his crack, and finally over his hole, the two ends of the forked tip separating to spread him open.

“Oh fuck,” Jay said, surrendering again. His shoulders went slack and he pressed his face down to the cushion, knees inching apart wider for how amazing Mike’s tongue felt circling around his rim, pulling and prodding. It was rougher than a human tongue, but his spit had a better glide, enough to make the combination of textures just right, perfect.

“You taste good Jay,” Mike said after he’d reduced Jay to a whimpery, jelly-legged mess with his tongue, not even pushing it inside yet. “So good that you should be a little worried.”

“I don’t care,” Jay sobbed out. “Eat me.”

Mike snorted hotly, right against Jay’s slicked up, sensitive hole. Then he spread Jay a little wider with his thumbs and again teased the points of his forked tongue around the rim in a way that felt practiced, fucking expert. Jay hissed and bucked backward, or tried to. Mike was holding him still, his big hands wrapped around Jay’s hips, the claw tips poking into his soft skin on his belly just enough to warn him not to make any sudden moves. 

“Fuck me,” Jay begged, when Mike just kept teasing him with shallow little licks inside, only the narrow points of the fork at the end of his tongue entering him and squirming around. There was so much more tongue behind them, and it was much thicker, firmer, like a cock. “Please, I can fucking take it, fuck-- Look, look at me, I’m-- Your little freak, right?”

“Mhm,” Mike said. “True.”

“Don’t be so gentle, you-- You can be rough, please.”

“You like it rough, Jay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Jay said, in a guttural exhale that came from what felt like the pit of his stomach. He’d never had it rough before, but he knew he’d like it. All he had to do was look at Mike to know.

“Okay,” Mike said.

It took Jay off guard when Mike spanked his waiting hole hard, and he didn’t realize it was Mike’s tongue lashing him there until it happened again. Mike’s hands were still wrapped around his hips, thumbs still holding him open. Mike tongue-spanked him a third time and Jay shouted, probably loud enough to concern the neighbors, then moaned in a long, low tremble of relief when Mike’s fat tongue wiggled inside him properly, pushing into him in one wet, unyielding plunge. The forked ends teased over his prostate, then stabbed at it, and Jay shouted again. He bit into his hand and felt himself start to come, untouched, as Mike’s tongue moved in and out of him in slurping thrusts. 

He’d emptied himself by the time Mike registered this and slid his tongue out slowly, even this retreat making Jay shiver all over with too much stimulation. 

“Damn,” Mike said, his voice rough. He sounded proud of himself, smug. “Wanted to suck you off properly,” he said, and then his tongue was slithering down over Jay’s still throbbing balls and up along his dick, wrapping around it.

“Ah-- Don’t!” Jay said, jerking in Mike’s grip. It was way too soon after he’d come to have his dick touched at all, let alone with the dizzying pressure of Mike’s huge tongue coiling around it.

“Later then,” Mike said when he’d relented. He gave Jay a parting lick over his twitching hole and stroked the small of his back with his thumbs before letting go of him. 

Jay turned over tiredly, and was taken off guard by the shock of laying eyes on Mike again after all that. He realized he’d subconsciously expected his regular old human Mike to be sitting there smiling at him, back to normal after a job well done. But Mike was still huge, horned and scaly. 

“You’re a mess,” Mike said, standing easily while Jay shuddered on the loveseat with aftershocks, come-crusted and exhausted. “Did I go too hard?”

“No,” Jay said. His thighs were still being jolted by the occasional tremor, and he felt otherwise boneless with pleasure, unable to move. “That was perfect.”

“Hm. Nobody’s ever accused me of perfection before. Stay there, I’ll get you a towel.” 

“I need more than a towel,” Jay said, though the idea of hefting himself into Mike’s shower seemed impossible. Also, Mike never kept his bathroom very clean. 

Mike took a while in the bathroom, and Jay laughed under his breath when he realized the sound he heard was Mike brushing his massive teeth, probably also his tongue. Jay’s heartbeat had slowed and his eyes were droopy. He felt warm and comfortable, despite being naked and smeared with a creature’s plentiful jizz. He was falling asleep for real when Mike returned with a damp towel. 

The sensation of being wiped clean by someone who could lift his entire body with one hand would have been enough to get Jay hard again if he were a younger man. As it was, he was too sleepy to do much except nuzzle against Mike’s arms as he was moved this way and that, feeling not unpleasantly like he was Mike’s captured plaything, being cleaned up and put away for later use. Jay curled up on the loveseat when Mike set him down, and flexed his back approvingly when he felt Mike lowering something warm and fuzzy over him. Jay pulled it around himself and sniffed in half-awake amusement when he realized it was Mike’s ratty old Packers jacket.

He slept, and when he woke up the light had disappeared from around the edges of the curtains. Mike was seated on the floor, watching him sleep and looking glum. Jay only startled a little at the sight of him, his ass clenching up reflexively around the slight sting left behind after that tongue fucking. 

“I broke my bed,” Mike said. 

“Oh?” Jay said, still tired. He was also up for another round of whatever, maybe, but Mike looked even more tired than Jay felt. 

“Last night, I tried to get in bed,” Mike said. “To hide under the blankets or something, right after this happened. Hiding from myself, I guess. But the bed just collapsed. Now I got no place to sleep.”

“We can make you a place,” Jay said, sitting up. He yawned and pulled Mike’s jacket shut around himself, feeling a little bit modest now, also cold. 

“What are you talking about?” Mike asked. “How are we gonna fix this?”

“First, you need to sleep. Hell, sleep itself might fix this. Grab all those cushions off the couch. I’ll get these ones.”

Jay stripped the loveseat of its cushions. Mike did the same to the big couch, following Jay’s lead in a listless fashion. His bed was indeed in pieces, but clearing away the broken wood didn’t take long with Mike’s muscle to do the job. Jay arranged the smooshed mattress and bedclothes with the cushions from the couch surrounding it, then raided Mike’s hall closet for extra blankets and old pillows to toss in amid the rest of the chaotic nest he was building.

“There!” he said when he was done, feeling proud of himself while standing over the pillow-strewn lair he’d made for Mike to sleep in. 

“I think you might be deranged,” Mike said, but he was also already crawling into the middle of the makeshift bed, curling up with his tail wrapped around his legs. He patted an empty spot beside him. “I don’t want to be alone right now,” he said, somewhat sternly, when Jay hesitated. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jay said. 

He turned off the light and made his way toward Mike in the glow from the moonlight that crept in through the slightly cracked blinds. Mike’s breathing was noisy, but it felt good to lie against him. Somehow the coolness of his scales had an insulating effect. Jay felt cozy, pressed up against Mike’s satiny body, but not overly warm. 

“Jay?” Mike said when Jay was almost asleep again.

“Hm.”

“What if swallowing my jizz turns you into a monster, too?”

“I didn’t swallow that much of it. And that was at least an hour ago now. I think I’m safe.”

Mike grunted. Maybe he was disappointed that Jay wouldn’t become his monster pal. That was ridiculous, Jay thought, wiggling back against him. Jay had always been some kind of strange little monster, human-shaped but twisted. Mike was right. Now they matched.

*


	2. Chapter 2

Jay slept deeply and woke up to the sensation of someone’s very heavy arm wrapped around him. He blinked his eyes open and realized when he saw the bone spikes that it was actually Mike’s tail cradling him, draped over his hip and hugged diagonally across his chest, the tip curled around his shoulder. The underside of it was warmer than the rest of Mike, and it felt good, Jay thought, too comfortable to make any other judgments about the situation. Mike was still asleep, and Jay was pinned tightly against his monster body, secured there under the weight of his tail. He figured there was nothing for it but to go back to sleep himself, so he did. It was Saturday, after all. The repair shop was closed. 

When Jay woke again it was to the sensation of something wet pooling onto his thighs. He was alarmed until he realized it was the pinecone cock, waking up along with the rest of Mike. The grip that Mike’s tail had on Jay’s body had loosened enough to allow Jay to roll onto his back and peer up into Mike’s eyes. 

“Well,” Mike said, his monster voice extra thick. “Sleeping it off didn’t work.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Jay said, patting Mike’s chest. He could feel both of Mike’s cocks hardening against his legs, and he looked down with a pleased smile, shifting his shins around to stimulate them. Mike groaned and sat up, moving away.

“I guess you’re loving this,” he said, glowering. 

“No!” Jay said, a bold faced lie. “Just. It’s not all bad. Didn’t you have fun yesterday?”

“Sure, Jay, but unlike you I can have an orgasm without needing to involve a monstrous creature body, so I’d rather just get back to having them in my human one if that’s all right with you.”

Jay rolled his eyes, then felt bad. He was still wearing Mike’s Packers jacket around his shoulders but was otherwise naked, and his cock was already half-hard from the smell of Mike, and the nearness of him, and the sticky slickness left behind on his legs from Mike’s leaking pinecone dick. 

“I can’t be mad at you, though,” Mike said, and he stayed in place when Jay scooted closer, wanting to touch him again. “This is my fault.”

“Well,” Jay said gently, patting Mike’s chest. “Yes. But that doesn’t mean you deserve it. And just because I like your monster body doesn’t mean I’m going to sabotage your efforts to turn human again, I promise.”

Mike sighed tremendously. He stared down at Jay’s hand as it moved lower, his fingers trailing over Mike’s chest and toward his cocks, which were filling out in anticipation of morning shenanigans. 

“I’m not going to just stay here in this sex nest pleasuring you all weekend, Jay,” Mike said. He didn’t sound too sure about this. 

“Okay,” Jay said, leaning against Mike’s chest as he took hold of his upper cock, pushing his fingers in against the ridges under the pointed head. He smiled when he felt Mike’s breath quicken. Mike’s chest lifted Jay’s whole body when he inhaled, lowering it again when he breathed out. 

“Don’t just toy with them,” Mike said, spreading his massive thighs apart for Jay’s touch.

“I’m not!” Jay said, though he was. “What, um.” He looked up into Mike’s face and shivered when he considered putting his hand in Mike’s mouth, rubbing his big tongue and feeling those sharp teeth pressing against his wrist. “What would you prefer I did, Mike?”

“I want to fuck you,” Mike said, and the words seemed to sizzle through Jay’s body, from his shoulders down to his heels, making him curl in on himself a little. “But not with the tongue again.”

“I thought you liked the way I, uh. Taste.” 

“You taste fine, you fucker, it’s not-- Never mind. Suck on those dicks and let me think for a minute.” 

Jay did as Mike asked, gladly. He felt hungry for more of the sweet, clear slickness that coated the pinecone dick, and for the sour candy taste of the bigger one. The textures of both were perfect, too, against his tongue and in his hands, complimenting each other in their contrast. He wanted to write a fucking ten page review of these dicks, listing and extolling every attribute: satisfying weight when cupped in the hand, excellent mouthfeel, delicate flavors, intoxicating aroma-- And the sounds Mike made while Jay groped and slobbered reverently were the best part. 

He gasped when he felt Mike parting his ass cheeks clumsily with what at first felt like the side of his hand, maybe to avoid getting the claws too close--

Then he realized what that was, actually, sneaking in to rub against the heat of his hole: the blunt, rounded tip of Mike’s tail. 

“Oh jesus,” Jay said, his mouth still pressed to Mike’s pinecone dick, which was sloppy with slick now. “ _Yeah_.”

“Thought you’d like that,” Mike said, his voice a low rumble. 

There was about ten inches of tail after the last and smallest bone spike, but it was so thick that there was no hope of getting much more than five or six inches into Jay without doing some kind of damage. Jay still wriggled back against it hopefully when it was inside him, lubed up with big handfuls of the slick from Mike’s pinecone cock, which was now leaking steadily from beneath its squishy scales. Jay went on squeezing it while Mike fucked him at a leisurely pace with his tail. He mouthed greedily at the pointed head of Mike’s bigger cock, flexing his ass around Mike’s tail as it sank in and out, giving him what he needed. 

Mike sighed a lot, moaned softly, and dragged his claws over Jay’s sweaty back, pressing in just enough to make him gasp and clench around the end of the tail. Jay had flung the Packers jacket away. He was warm all over and already close to coming when Mike shifted downward, his tail still inside Jay, depriving him of access to the dicks while he got in range of Jay’s cock with his big tongue. 

“Oh god,” Jay said when he felt Mike’s tongue coiling around him, the width and length of it covering Jay’s up entirely. Jay shifted up onto his knees to ride the end of Mike’s tail. It was just long enough to allow Jay to fuck himself upon it while Mike sucked at his dick in undulating rolls of his tongue, making Jay see galaxies explode behind his eyelids when he came with a scream that felt like it would expell his entire ribcage. Slackening in the aftermath, he sank back onto the thicker part of Mike’s tail and thought he’d come again or die or something, the force of his pleasure making him sob in confusion when he didn’t know if he wanted more or less. 

He barely knew where he was at all as he came down from it, moaning when Mike lifted him away from the tip of his tail, allowing it to slide carefully out of his ass. In a lazy blink Mike was overtop him looking worried, then relieved when Jay gave him a dopey smile, spread out on the mess of pillows and blankets and splattered with his own come. 

“Do it,” Jay said when Mike knelt over him and lowered himself so that his cocks were pressed to Jay’s come-slick chest. “Oh god,” Jay said, feeling certain this would kill him, crush him or something, and not really minding the thought. “Yeah, fucking-- _Yeah_.”

“Goddamn,” Mike said, snarling a little, maybe trying to hold back or put himself over the edge as he angled himself so he could rub both his cocks between Jay’s pecs. He reached down between Jay’s legs and used one fat knuckle to feel how open and wet he was. He grinned when Jay whined, still sensitive. “I could almost fit one inside,” Mike said, breathy. His eyes looked crazed. 

“Yeah,” Jay said, timidly. He wanted it. He was also scared. 

“You’d-- You’d let me?” Mike huffed and thrust his dicks faster against Jay’s skin, chafing him. 

“I would,” Jay said. He was still scared, but it was true. 

Mike groaned and came all over Jay’s chest and throat, coating his chin and jaw with the pearly blue-white come from the bigger cock and soaking his pecs with the clear liquid that spurted from the pinecone dick. Jay whimpered when it made his nipples burn a little, with a tingle that would have felt good if it wasn’t still recovering from the most overwhelming orgasm he’d ever had in his life. He felt like Mike’s come was burying him against the floor, sticking him there, and maybe it was.

“Well,” Mike said when he sat back, catching his breath. “We’ve now wrecked this bed, too.”

“Yeah,” Jay said, sniffling.

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh. Mike.”

“What?”

“I really do want those inside me. Maybe the smaller one.”

“It’s hardly small!” Mike scowled down at the dicks and shook his head. “No, I can’t do it, Jay.”

“You can. Maybe later.”

“I’m not your sex slave, Jay!”

Jay groaned and forced himself to sit up, to make sure he wasn’t literally stuck to the floor. He tried not to make a face as he scooped handfuls of Mike’s come off of him and wiped them on the ruined blankets.

“I need a shower,” Jay said. The understatement of the century. He was drenched and reeked of sex in a brand new, alien way. 

“Be my guest,” Mike said. “I can’t fuckin’ fit in there anymore. Jesus, how am I gonna bathe? Maybe I can sneak into an automated car wash.”

“Did the guy who sold you the music box get back to you?” Jay asked, standing on shaky legs. 

“I dunno, I’d have to check my email. Typing ain’t easy with these claws.”

“I’ll check for you, just let me clean up a little.”

Or a lot, he thought, bolting across the hallway. Mike was right; he was deranged. He wanted to keep Mike in this apartment forever, bringing him food and clean linens and sucking on his cocks twice a day, training himself to take one of them up his ass. Or letting Mike train him. He was already horny again, standing under the hot blast of water in Mike’s shower. And poor Mike was out there alone, with no information about why this had happened or how to make it go away. 

Jay hated the thought of it going away, and then hated himself for being so selfish and strange. He finished showering and wrapped himself in a towel, determined to help Mike somehow, even if it meant losing access to the first kind of sex with a partner that he’d ever liked.

That tail up his ass had been phenomenal, and the sweet taste of Mike’s come was still on his tongue. He stared at himself in Mike’s foggy bathroom mirror, ashamed of how aroused he still felt. He was getting hard again, and his pupils were huge. He’d slept all night with the smoke from Mike’s monster body wafting around him. Maybe it was working some kind of spell on him, but he’d been away from it while he showered and still wanted nothing more than to pin himself to Mike’s side and hump him like a maniac. 

He returned to Mike’s bedroom and found the sex-wrecked nest empty. Mike’s clothes were way too big for Jay, but he found some clean ones and dressed himself in a black hoodie sweatshirt with a brewery logo and some old basketball shorts with a drawstring he tied tight around his waist. 

Mike was on his knees in the living room, in front of the computer, a relatively clean bedsheet draped across his lap to conceal his cocks from Jay’s hungry eyes. He looked miserable, and Jay could hear his stomach growling. 

“Let’s see,” Jay said, taking Mike’s desk chair and moving the mouse to wake his old desktop. “Oh, look! One new email! From antiquewitch17.”

“That’s the music box seller,” Mike said. His eyes lit up and he leaned closer, watching Jay open the email. 

_TO: paracurious@gmail.com  
FROM: AntiqueWitch17@aol.com_

_RE: EMERGUNCY PLS HELP_

_Dear sir,_

_Did you read the detailed instructions I included with the piece before using it? You must be extremely specific in your wish-making or unfortunately the piece will make ancillary choices for you when it comes to how best to get what you’re asking for. The only mechanism for reversing the transformation you’ve undergone is getting what you asked for. Then the circumstance that allowed you to achieve this will evaporate, as the wish will be considered granted._

_Hope that helps!_

_Blessings,  
Rich E._

“What the fuck?” Jay said after reading it a second time, still unable to make any sense of it. Mike had gone silent, and he went on staring at the computer screen when Jay turned to him. “Mike?” Jay said, snapping his fingers in front of Mike’s dazed expression. “What’s this about wishing? I thought the music box was just supposed to be haunted or whatever?”

Mike slid his gaze to Jay’s slowly. He looked nervous, also guilty. 

“Yeahhhh,” Mike said. “About that.”

“Oh god. What now?”

Mike groaned and brought his big hands up to his face, drilling his palms against his eyes and showing Jay his teeth when he gritted them in apparent agony. He looked wounded when he lowered his hands to peek at Jay again, or maybe scared.

“Mike,” Jay said, turning the office chair fully in his direction. “What did you wish for?”

“This is humiliating,” Mike said. 

“You just fucked my ass with your tail, get past it! Tell me your wish, and maybe I can help. Did you want to be strong or something? Physically fit?”

“Fuck off,” Mike said, glaring. “I was already strong. And I’m not vain like you.”

“Fine, shithead, then what was your far superior wish?”

“What do you think, Jay!”

“I couldn’t possibly guess!”

“Oh jesus christ!” 

Mike stood with a groan and stomped around for a while, fuming in a pretty literal way and breathing loudly. Jay crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair, waiting for this tantrum to subside. Mike could take his time feeling sorry for himself. Jay had all day, and Mike was the one who was in a hurry to change back. Jay could do this for weeks, if necessary. Months, even.

“Well, it doesn’t matter!” Mike said, roaring at this at Jay when he finally turned back toward him. “Because I got the thing I wished for, and what he said about transforming back didn’t happen.”

“Huh?”

“I got the thing I wished for, Jay? Okay? Get it?”

“No? What-- A tail? Two dicks?”

“Fuck no, I didn’t wish for two dicks! I wished for you, Jay, you fucking demon from hell! For you to want me, and now you do, now that I’m like _this_ , of course, of fucking course-- But it’s not going away, even with you crawling all over me, so that fraud of a witch is wrong! God!”

Mike turned away and punched a huge hole in the wall between the kitchen and living room, making the whole building tremble.

“Stop that!” Jay shouted. He leapt from his chair, heart pounding, unable to process what Mike had said before he nearly demolished the building they were standing in. “Someone will call the cops!”

Mike kept his back to Jay, shoulders slumping. He was breathing hard, almost wheezing. 

“Sorry,” he said after a while, his voice cracked in a way that made Jay’s chest tighten. 

“You-- Hang on.” Jay exhaled and walked in a circle, pushing his damp hair back off his forehead. This was a lot to take in. It was more shocking and difficult to accept than Mike suddenly being a huge monster. “You said-- That, you wished for, um. That, and, yeah. I can confirm. I want-- You. Obviously. Sooo. So this person is saying you should turn back, just. Maybe it’s just going to take a little bit longer? Maybe we-- Should fuck, properly?” 

Jay was babbling, anxious about Mike’s confession and silence, also his defeated posture. 

“Properly,” Mike mumbled, sounding like he had a mouth full of marbles and like he was on the verge of tears. 

“Yeah-- Like! I mean, look, those two cocks are clearly significant. Maybe if we can fit one inside me, that breaks the spell. Uh. You know. Just a thought.”

“You’re a psychopath,” Mike said. “I don’t even know why I love you.”

“I’m sorry!” Jay said. “I’m just trying to be solution-oriented here.”

Jay felt like a monster, differently than he ever had before. Mike loved him? What? Why, when? 

“I want to be alone,” Mike said. He turned toward Jay and gave him a fierce stare, eyes burning, like he dared Jay to contest this. 

“But,” Jay said. “Mike--”

“No. I need to think. You’re inhibiting my thought process, as usual. Just-- Go get us some more food, go feed your cat. I need a fucking minute.”

Jay nodded. He did need to feed his cat. And he was hungry. Mike was probably starving. 

“Okay,” Jay said, gathering up his clothes from where he’d tossed them the day before. “I’ll just, um. Go do that, then.”

He went into the bathroom to dress in privacy, then felt stupid for doing so. Mike had seen him spread out and holding his legs open on that loveseat. He’d seen Jay literally drooling for more of his two dicks and trying to open his mouth wide enough to lap at both of them at once. And if Mike changed back, all of that would still be true, and Jay wouldn’t have the comfort of seeing Mike when he was vulnerable and scared as a monster anymore. 

Jay was in a daze as he left Mike’s apartment, and as soon as he stepped outside he was worried Mike might do something crazy without him. It was a warm day, a little on the hot side but pretty, and if Jay was still living a normal life he would have gone to the lake or just walked around in the park listening to music. As it was, he had to rush back to take care of his monster-- boyfriend?

He shook himself away from that thought, and from every impulse to seriously consider Mike’s confession. He also tried not to think about the fact that Mike’s wish that Jay would want him could be responsible for how crazy he felt about Mike’s monster body and two dicks. He didn’t feel hypnotized, especially as he filled a shopping cart with sustenance for Mike, moving through the grocery store like it was a normal day. His mind was working fine, and he disliked the idea that magic had anything to do with his experiences in Mike’s apartment. He wanted to own this weirdness; after all, he’d been beating off to monster porn since puberty. The music box had simply turned Mike into exactly what Jay wanted: still Mike, but a Mike who was in no position to judge Jay’s weirdness, as he now embodied it exactly. 

He stopped by his place on the way back to Mike’s, said hello to his cat and filled her food bowls, changed her water. He also changed out of the clothes that smelled like that smoke Mike’s monster body emitted, and as he was neatening up his hair in the bathroom mirror, stalling maybe, he remembered something. 

He opened the medicine cabinet and eyed the bottle of muscle relaxers that he’d been prescribed last year, after a weird but brief incident with a pinched nerve in his left arm. The nerve issue had cleared up in less than two days, so he’d only taken a few of the pills. He chewed his lip and told himself it couldn’t hurt to bring them along, just in case his plan to try getting one of Mike’s dicks into him to break the spell had some merit. 

Jay hefted all the groceries he’d bought up to Mike’s third floor apartment, hoping he hadn’t been gone long enough to allow Mike to do anything reckless. Like buying a magical music box and wishing for his best friend to want him, Jay thought bitterly, piling all the shopping bags on the floor before he unlocked Mike’s front door. 

“I’m back!” he called when he didn’t see Mike in the living room or kitchen. “And I’ve got food!” 

Mike poked his head out from the bedroom doorway to watch Jay bring in all the shopping bags. He stayed back there, maybe because Jay had the door open. 

“Hungry?” Jay asked when the door was shut and Mike had followed him into the kitchen. Mike wasn’t wearing a loincloth of any kind, and Jay tried not to stare at the dicks, though he wanted to, because they seemed to have partially retracted into Mike’s body now that they weren’t in use. 

“I’ve never been hungrier in my life,” Mike said, looking at Jay like he was a roasted turkey.

“Hah,” Jay said, hurrying to put the last of the groceries in the fridge. “Well, great. I got you several rotisserie chickens, ready to eat. They’re there on the table.” 

Mike nodded, sighed, and went for them. He made a mess of the paper bags they were packaged in, tearing them away hastily with his claws. 

“I wonder if I can chomp right through the bones,” Mike said after he’d finished half a chicken while Jay watched, unable to look away from Mike’s razor sharp teeth as they stripped meat from the bones.

“Better not try it,” Jay said. “You could crack a tooth.”

Mike gave Jay a pitiful glance, as if he was surprised to hear that Jay cared about his monster teeth. Jay resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Mike’s drama. Couldn’t they talk about all this like rational adults? Jay could, probably. He shuffled in place, trying to decide where to start, then went to the fridge for a beer.

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” Mike asked. 

“I had some yogurt in the car.” 

“Some _yogurt_?” 

Mike sniffed as if that was just typical of Jay and wiped grease from his lips with the hand that wasn’t holding the half-devoured chicken carcass.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jay snapped. “I’m on a diet. Yesterday’s cheeseburger was an exception.”

“You’re drinking a beer at noon, pal.” 

“So what? You know, Mike, the fact that you find everything I do personally offensive makes it a little hard to believe you’re in love with me.”

Jay felt himself go white after saying this. Mike looked shocked, too. A piece of loose chicken skin fell to the floor, but neither of them broke eye contact. Jay chugged from his beer, still holding Mike’s bewildered gaze.

“It doesn’t make sense to me either,” Mike said. “It just happened. I’d wish it away if I could.”

“Apparently not--”

“Oh shut up and drink your beer! I know you don’t love me back, okay, I’m not stupid.”

Jay was going to protest that Mike didn’t know that, but if he did, would he be saying he was in love with Mike? He wasn’t, right? He couldn’t be, but it seemed wrong to say so, like a gotcha Mike was trying to throw in his face. 

“A carnival witch once told me I’m irresistible to men,” Jay said, when he couldn’t think of anything else that would make Mike stop giving him that devastated look while holding a disgusting half-eaten chicken. “When I was a little kid.”

“Excuse me?” Mike said.

“She read my palm-- I didn’t even want to do it! I already thought that psychic crap was bullshit. But my sister made me, because she was scared to go in alone, and this scary old lady told us that we were descended from succubi and that as the only boy in my family it meant I had superpowers.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mike said, but he looked less sad now, more interested.

“She didn’t specify what the superpowers were,” Jay said, feeling insane but unable to stop talking about this. He’d never told anyone; his sister had been five years old and only had a vague memory of going to the fortune teller at all. “I guess because we were so young, she didn’t want to start talking about some nasty sex shit. But that’s what succubi are, sex demons. I looked it up when I got home. In an old fashioned paper encyclopedia. I told myself it was just fake, dumb legend shit, but I always felt like guys liked me a little too much for it to make sense, once I was older.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Mike asked. He took another bite of the chicken, apparently having his appetite back.

“I don’t know,” Jay said. He drank more beer. “I guess I’m afraid, considering what happened to you, that it really could be true.”

“That’s not the only explanation for someone wanting you, Jay,” Mike said, looking disgusted by the suggestion. “At least, it’s not mine.”

“Then what the hell is yours, if you find me and my breakfast choices so annoying?”

Mike scoffed, then looked lost. He stared down at the chicken in his hand. 

“If you’ve never been in love with somebody, you wouldn’t understand,” Mike said, mumbling. “I just know it’s coming from me, not from some fucking witch prophecy about your magical ass being irresistible to men.” 

“Well, same for me,” Jay said. “Wanting, um. You, like this. It’s me, the real me. Not just some spell you put on me.”

“How could you possibly know?” Mike asked, eyes narrowing.

“How could you, about me!”

Mike groaned as if Jay was being dense. He finished the first chicken, pitched the bones in the trash, and started on the other one. 

For a while they sat in the living room attempting to watch a movie. Jay was miserable, hard in his pants and unable to stop glancing over at Mike, who was holding a cushion over his dicks, probably because he was hard, too. He was glowering at the TV like he wanted to blow it up with his mind.

“Look,” Jay said when he couldn't take it anymore. He dug the pills out of his pocket. “I have-- A plan, kind of.”

“What is that,” Mike asked, eying the bottle.

“Muscle relaxers.” Jay lifted his eyebrows when Mike looked up at him in confusion, or maybe disgust. “For sex,” Jay blurted. “With your-- Equipment. The smaller one, at least. Mike. We should try it.”

“It’s impossible,” Mike said. “I don’t want to wreck your ass. Not literally, anyway.”

“But Mike, it might break the spell! It’s about being wanted, right, and we tried all the other sex stuff, more or less.” Jay leaned forward to slam the pill bottle onto Mike’s coffee table like he was pounding a gavel to seal a judgment. “I’m willing to do this for you,” he said, forcing himself to be brave in another, much harder way. “Because I-- Care about you. A lot. Obviously.”

“Obviously?!” Mike said, sputtering, like Jay had just slapped him in the face with a dead fish. 

“I’m here tending to your monster needs, aren’t I? What makes you think I couldn’t-- Feel things? That you feel?”

“This is your fucking fantasy!” Mike said, standing to show Jay his full height. As he did, the cushion fell away, revealing his glorious cocks, which were indeed both hard just from Jay’s proximity, fully unsheathed now. “And I’m supposed to thank you for enjoying it?”

“Oh god,” Jay said under his breath. He was staring at the dicks, couldn’t help it. Even the sight of Mike’s tail was extremely arousing, now that Jay knew how good it felt to be fucked on the tip. “Don’t you want to punish me for being so sick?” Jay asked, without thinking. 

He tilted his head back to meet Mike’s eyes, far above him. Mike looked stricken, like Jay had just broken his heart for real.

“Having sex on those things is probably illegal,” Mike said, pointing a shaking finger at the bottle of pills. “I won’t do it.”

“Okay, then stay a monster forever!” Jay said, infuriated by Mike’s avoidance of his awful question. “Suits me fine, clearly!”

“You really are a demon,” Mike said, stomping toward him, hands in fists. 

“You’d know!” Jay said, and his eyes were suddenly blurred over by a thin sheen of stupid tears, an automatic reaction to feeling like that psychic was proven right at last: he was cursed, irreversibly different, doomed to never know what people were talking about when they bored him with their bullshit about love. “Demonfucker,” Jay said, when Mike was standing right in front of him, breathing hard and glaring down into his face. 

“Monsterfucker,” Mike returned.

Jay couldn’t help grinning. The threat of tears dried up when Mike smiled back at him, showing Jay his ferocious teeth. Jay exhaled in relief when Mike cupped his upturned face in one big hand, curving his fingers in so that his claws rested on top of Jay’s head. 

“You don’t need those pills,” Mike said. “I’m gonna work a Halloween miracle on your ass today, Jay.”

“Yes,” Jay said, wide-eyed, nodding, and feeling now like he really was under a spell. It was wholly Mike’s spell, nothing to do with whatever had come out of that music box to kick their sorry asses. “It’s, uh. It’s only August, though.” 

“Every day can be Halloween if you want it bad enough. You of all people should know this.”

Jay wanted to kiss Mike on his scary monster mouth, and for a moment he was sure Mike would tranform back into a human before they could get to the dickening, because there was no denying that Jay did love him, fuck.

Mike didn’t transform. He lead Jay into the bedroom, Jay’s tiny hand clasped delicately in Mike’s enormous one. Mike had neatened the nest up a little, and in the mood Jay was in this was quite touching. He reclined on the clean blankets and cushions that Mike had moved to the middle of the room and stared up at Mike in awe, wishing Mike could appreciate how gorgeous his monster form was. But Jay could understand why he was sad about it. Mike wanted to be loved in his regular, unaltered form. Jay could relate.

“If you were gonna wish for me to want this,” Jay said as Mike lowered down onto him, first on his knees and then on all fours over Jay’s comparatively tiny body, “Why’d you want me to come over while you did it?”

“Uhh, to talk me out of wishing for anything,” Mike said. “You have a way of reining me in. Usually. And I had a feeling making a wish might turn out like-- This, if it actually worked.”

Then why’d you do it, Jay wanted to ask. He withheld the question, feeling floaty and well protected under the shadow of Mike’s huge body. Maybe the answer was embarrassing and emotional and more than either of them wanted to deal with before they attempted this feat. 

Mike started with his tongue. Jay came almost as soon as it was sliding deep inside him, wound up from over an hour of sitting in the living room and breathing in the scent of Mike without touching him. Now Mike was touching him everywhere, had licked Jay all over before getting down between his legs to tongue fuck him as prep for the main event. Mike flopped his tail up alongside Jay’s body and let him cling to it while he kept going, even after Jay had spurted all over himself. Jay stroked Mike’s bone spikes and nuzzled at the rounded tip of his tail, whimpering pathetically and feeling like he could do anything, with Mike’s help. 

“Do you like it?” Jay asked, panting a little when Mike had pulled his tongue out to give him a stern, serious look, as if assessing Jay’s readiness based on the look in his eyes. 

“What?”

“This,” Jay said, licking the end of Mike’s tail. “Me touching you here.”

“Yes,” Mike said. “But that’s true of everywhere.” 

“Mike, I think-- It’s now or never.”

“Quiet.” Mike put one huge, sharp-clawed hand over Jay’s skittish belly. Between the size of his hand and the length of his claws, he nearly covered Jay’s whole torso. “How many times have you done this?” he asked.

“Had sex with a monster? Umm, about ten thousand times, in my dreams. Never in real life.”

“I’m serious, Jay. With men.”

Jay rolled his eyes and somehow managed to blush more deeply than he had when he came on Mike’s tongue. He still didn’t want to say this part, but he felt they had to enter into this adventure with full honesty.

“Never,” he muttered.

“Say what? That can’t be true.”

“Yeah, well, neither can the fact that you have horns and a tail, yet here we are!”

“Jay. You can’t be a virgin for this.”

“You’re right, ‘cause I’m not. You literally just fucked the come out of me, what is your problem? What difference would it make if I’d had some human’s puny dick in me before? You’ve already devirginized me and the concept is bullshit anyway-- I have fucked women, by the way. Twice.” 

Jay was flustered, embarrassed, and annoyed. He turned his cheek when Mike licked his throat. 

“Gross,” Jay muttered, though he’d thoroughly cleaned his ass in Mike’s shower with just this type of moment in mind. 

“You’re so cute,” Mike said, sounding torn up about it. “With your-- Weird pride.”

“Fuck you, Mike.” 

“No, your turn. Okay, uhhhh. I’ll just rub the tip around for a while. See what happens.”

Jay wasn’t prepared for how good that would feel. The twisty tip of the pinecone cock was like nothing he’d ever felt against the already sensitive nerves on his hole, and the slickness it spread felt like something that was made to go there, like the cure for an ache he’d had for a long time. While this was going on, Mike’s bigger cock was hard as hell and pressed right against Jay’s as it filled out again, rutting him slowly while Mike drew circles against Jay’s softened entrance with the other dick, and the contrast in their size made Jay drool as he stared down his chest at the sight of his cock positively buried under Mike’s. He was glad he hadn’t taken the drugs. Whatever happened, he wanted to feel every blisteringly intense inch of this.

It took them all day to get most of Mike’s wet pinecone dick inside Jay, and the sun was going down when they decided, mutually, that the last few, thickest inches just weren’t going to happen. Jay was a mess, sobbing and holding onto Mike with both arms, telling him not to pull out. He’d come again at some point and was half-hard, Mike’s upper cock rubbing almost cruelly against his twice-spent dick as Mike fucked into him slowly, growling low in his chest with what seemed like the effort not to slam in hard. It was taking him a long time to come, either because he was thrusting so carefully or because he was afraid that coming wouldn’t break the spell. 

“I can’t keep going,” Jay finally said. He had no idea how long it had been, but his dick hurt from Mike’s upper one rubbing against it. Jay had gone fully soft while Mike was still so hard, inside him and on top of him. Jay sniffled and rubbed at his face, not really crying so much as soaked in sweat, though the force of his sweating had started to feel like crying. 

“Kay,” Mike said, and when he started to withdraw Jay grabbed him and held him still, regretting that he’d caved. 

“Wait,” Jay said.

“No, it’s okay.” Mike nudged his face against Jay’s jaw, exhaled against his hot throat. “It’s okay.”

Jay whimpered at the feeling of Mike leaving him. He missed feeling so overfull that he’d touched his stomach expecting to feel the shape of Mike’s cock poking outward in true body horror majesty. It hadn’t hurt, and in the aftermath the tingling feeling spread inside him and across his skin, the slickness Mike had left behind without even coming soothing his whole body. It was just too much, though, at the same time. 

“We tried,” Mike said, sitting back to start jacking himself. His teeth glinted in the streetlight glow that came in through the slanted blinds. “Jay, god. You did really good.”

Jay nodded, though he felt like a failure. He wanted-- Something. Something specific that wasn’t here, though he also wanted nothing except to be with Mike right now, closer to him even than he was with Mike kneeling over him and trying to finish, speeding his fist on his cocks, which had to be so full and overdue for emptying that they hurt now. 

“Put the tail in,” Jay said. “Just the tip.”

“Jay--”

“Please, Mike, please, I feel empty, I want you, I want you so much--”

He felt like he was begging for something more than being plugged with the rough tip of Mike’s tail, but that’s what he got, and when he shouted and arched into the feeling, squeezing up as tight as he could around the shape of whatever part of Mike he could get in him, Mike finally started to come, throwing his head back and groaning so loud that the window shook while he soaked Jay in the warmth of his release.

They were both too exhausted to clean up, but something had to be done about the sheer volume of liquids Jay was coated in, so Mike lazily dragged a blanket over him. He tossed it aside when it was saturated and pulled Jay in against his chest, closing him in with both arms and curling his tail up around the small of Jay’s back, too, for good measure. 

Jay was breathing in choppy exhales that gradually slowed. His eyes were closed and his fingers were twitching on Mike’s side, both of Mike’s spent and still heavy cocks resting on his knee. 

“I’m sorry,” Jay said, because he felt like it was his fault that it hadn’t worked. 

“It’s okay,” Mike said. He sounded exhausted, and Jay could feel him trembling. He hoped it was from exertion and not fear. “Just--”

Mike swallowed down whatever else he was going to say, or maybe his voice choked away. His tail tightened around Jay’s back, the tip stroking his side and making him squirm a bit when it tickled. Jay tried to hold on tight to Mike, too, but he could already feel his muscles slackening. Something about being held by Mike like this sent him right into the deepest sleep.

He dreamed that he was running. In the dream it was so easy that he couldn’t believe he’d ever struggled or stopped before he hit his goal time. It was snowing, and he was running like he would never tire, moving toward something. Only when he saw the repair shop up ahead did he realize he was running toward Mike.

In the dream it did not occur to him to expect any Mike but the one who’d greeted him at the shop for the past twenty years: human Mike, soft skinned with huge brown eyes and pointy ears that made him look a little vulnerable despite his size, smirking in his chair behind the counter when Jay came through the door like a tornado, red-cheeked from the snow and desperate to get to him. 

“What’s with you?” Mike asked when Jay stood there frozen and astonished for some reason he couldn’t remember, flooded with relief. 

“I had an idea,” Jay said. “A new idea.”

“For what?”

Jay answered him by hurrying across the shop, behind the counter, and he was reaching for Mike so he could kiss him and fix everything when he woke up. 

Back in what passed for reality, Mike was no longer holding him. He was sitting nearby on the mess of blankets, looking sheepish. Jay felt like he’d had the dream about wanting to kiss him hours ago, because now it was dawn, but he was still mentally stuck there. It took him a moment to register why the fact that Mike was sitting beside him and looking like his plain old human self was something miraculous. 

“Mike!” 

Jay shot upright, laughing with relief and walking to Mike on his knees. He grabbed Mike’s face, pinched his cheeks to make sure they were solid, then grabbed his shoulders and shook him. 

“It’s you!” Jay said, so overcome that his voice broke. He could feel that he was holding onto Mike too savagely, his nails cutting into Mike’s skin, but he couldn’t seem to let go. “Mike, it worked!”

“I know,” Mike said. He gave Jay a half smile and looked down at his lap.

Jay looked, too. Mike had one dick, soft and thick, curved over huge balls and resting amid wild black pubes. 

“Do you feel okay?” Jay asked, looking up at Mike’s face again. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Mike said, but he was moping, despite all their problems being solved. “I’m great. Back to normal. Yay.”

“Mike!” Jay shook him again, as if trying to wake him from a bad dream. “This is-- You’re--”

“Okay, okay, Jay. You don’t have to pretend you like this version better. Obviously I’m glad I can, like, live my life again, but--”

Jay shut him up by kissing him hard. He cupped Mike’s jaw to hold him in place, with their mouths jammed together. Jay supposed he didn’t really know how to kiss, or at least was real out of practice, but he did his best, fucking Mike’s mouth with his tongue and then going the more tender route, licking at him softly. Mike was slow to respond, but when he did it was with a sigh that Jay swallowed up like relief. 

“Don’t fuck with me,” Mike said, attempting to give Jay a stern look when he pulled back. Mostly he looked like he wanted to curl up into a ball in Jay’s arms. There were dark shadows under his eyes, and his hair was all fucked up. Jay smoothed it down with his hands. He couldn’t stop grinning, even while Mike gave him that broken up look. “Jay. I mean it.”

“You immediately assume me kissing you is an attempt to fuck with you.”

“Well-- Yeah!”

Jay kissed him again, to demonstrate that it wasn’t. Mike’s lips were a little tense against his, but not for long. He melted against Jay and let himself be pulled down into the blanket heap again, their mouths still locked together. When Mike finally settled his hand on Jay’s waist, Jay scooted closer, rubbing his belly against Mike’s. He liked that the shape of their bodies lined up, more or less, now that Mike wasn’t four times his size, just bigger. 

“Are you okay?” Mike asked after they’d made out for a while, pausing at moments to pull back and check each other’s eyes for any signs of hysterical laughter. Mike’s hand slid down toward the curve of Jay’s ass, as if to indicate he was asking about its welfare specifically.

“I’m good,” Jay said. “I’m so good. Mike! Listen, um. I broke the spell. Or-- Granted the wish, I guess.”

“Huh?”

“I dreamed-- You were you, this you-- And I wanted so bad to wake up and see you like this. Like, don’t laugh, but I wanted it in my _heart_ , okay, this you, the real you, and-- You’re here.” 

Mike looked stunned. His smile came slowly, first in his eyes. 

“So you do have one,” Mike said, settling his palm over Jay’s chest, where his heart was pounding. “I knew it.”

“You didn’t know shit, you called me a demon.”

“Demons have hearts. Theirs are my favorite kind. Clearly.”

Jay snickered and let Mike kiss him again. It was nice to have him take the lead, nice to be kissed hard, rolled onto his back, and touched all over with warm, soft hands that didn’t have massive claws. 

Not that Jay wouldn’t cherish and jerk off to the monster memories forever. He just liked this Mike so much, so much that he loved him, too, enough to break a curse and last forever, enough that being crushed beneath his sweaty, squishy weight atop a damp sex nest on one of the hottest days of the summer felt like the only place he’d ever ask to be, if he had a single wish.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ........... I have a wet pinecone gif, if anyone wants it. (it's a literal wet pinecone)
> 
> I don't know if this one has a theme song, [maybe this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC53oRIo0zQ)?!?!


End file.
